My Wimbledon Blog

See You Next Year!

2005-07-03T14:26:00.000-07:00

Wimbledon is over for this year, so this blog won't be updated again. I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on this year's Championships. See you next year!

Photo Credits

2005-07-03T14:21:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! Sports: http://sports.yahoo.com/ten/gallery?pg=2&cap=0
Wimbledon Official Site: http://www.wimbledon.org/en_GB/index.html
BBC Sports: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/tennis/default.stm

These photographs are the property of their copyright holders. I used them without permission. If the copyright holders have a problem with this, they are welcome to comment on this post and I will remove the photographs in question. None of these photographs are hotlinked; they are stored on a third-party server.

Normally I wouldn't do something so cheeky, but I wasn't there so I couldn't take my own photographs. ;-)

Final Day: Roundup

2005-07-03T14:13:00.000-07:00

Roger Federer retains Wimbledon title

Roger Federer steamrolled a hapless, helpless Andy Roddick in straight sets in the men's final today. The final score was an embarrassing 6-2, 7-6 (7-2), 6-4. We all knew Roger Federer would win the men's title at Wimbledon, and I think he makes men's tennis incredibly boring. He won Wimbledon in 2003, 2004, and 2005; he won the US Open in 2004 and the Australian Open in 2004. He dominates men's tennis, especially on grass, and he's only 23...so he'll be around a very long time. The game is incredibly dull when the field lacks depth, and the men's field certainly seems to lack depth right now. It'll get better when the men lift their games to Federer's level, but for now....zzzzzzzzzzz.

Awwww, poor Andy. I know it's hard work. WORK HARDER!

The winner (right) and the runner-up (left).

Women's Doubles

Liezel Huber and Cara Black won the women's doubles title, winning in straight sets over singles top-10 players Svetlana Kuznetsova and Amelie Mauresmo. They were simply no match for the Africans, who won 6-2, 6-1. A real drubbing. Aww, bless.

The runners-up, Svetlana Kuznetsova and Amelie Mauresmo.

Mixed Doubles

Unseeded players Mahesh Bhupathi and Mary Pierce won their semi-final match against the No. 3 seeds Jonas Bjorkman and Lisa Raymond 7-5, 6-1. They played Paul Hanley and Tatiana Perebiynis in the final; Hanley and Perebiynis had defeated Kevin Ullyett and Liezel Huber in their semi-final match earlier today.

Venus Williams Wins Women's Title

2005-07-02T15:29:00.000-07:00

After the longest women's final in history, Venus Williams overcame an injured Lindsay Davenport to take the title 4-6, 7-6, 9-7.

Lindsay Davenport was pretty close to winning the title at certain points during the match, but she just couldn't close it out. She was in obvious pain in the third set after aggravating a back injury sustained in her semi-final match with Amelie Mauresmo. Had Davenport had the chance to finish that match on schedule instead of having to finish it on Friday, things might have been different. Watching Davenport, who had been strong in the match up to that point, being treated on the sidelines in obvious pain was tough to watch. I think if Davenport had not been injured, she would have defeated Venus Williams.

This must have sucked. I can't even imagine what she was thinking here.

The winner and the runner-up.

Lindsay Davenport, gracious in defeat.

Venus likes to jump.

BOING!

BOING!

Venus can't believe it! We couldn't either!

Venus still can't believe it!

I thought this display was kind of tasteless, but I do have to give the girl a LOT of credit. She's been through a lot and this is her first grand slam title in a LONG time. A lot of people had written her off; I can't even imagine what kind of emotions she was feeling here, so I'll forgive her. Nobody expected her to win. NOBODY. Nobody laid odds on this woman to win, but win she did. She is TOUGH. Congratulations, Venus and Lindsay...and I hope to see you BOTH at Wimbledon 2006.

Day Twelve Roundup

2005-07-02T15:07:00.000-07:00

This article excludes the women's final.

Johansson vs Roddick

Thomas Johansson and Andy Roddick took to Centre Court this afternoon to finish their semi-final match which was suspended yesterday due to rain. Roddick eventually overcame the Swede in four sets 6-7 (6-8), 6-2, 7-6 (12-10), 7-6 (7-5). The two were quite evenly matched and the quality of the tennis was absolutely superb. There were only two double faults from Johansson and none from Roddick. Each man served 19 aces. Their first serves were pretty solid, though the Swede's second serve was weaker. They had nearly equal numbers of winners, and their serve speeds were very close. Roddick was superior on break point conversions and unforced errors; he made 23 unforced errors to Johansson's 38.

Andy also took a very entertaining spill in the fourth set:

"Oops!"

Oh Andy, you dirty dirty boy. Rowwwr.

Women's 35 & Over Doubles

Tracy Austin and Jana Novotna won their second consecutive Women's 35 & Over Doubles title on Court 3 today, defeating Rosalyn Nideffer and Katrina Adams, 6-2, 6-4. Yay for them!

Men's Doubles

History was made in the men's doubles competition today, with Stephen Huss (Australia) and Wesley Moodie (South Africa) becoming the first qualifiers ever to win the men's doubles title. They defeated brothers Bob and Mike Bryan of the United States 7-6 (7-4), 6-3, 6-7 (2-7), 6-3.

Why does this picture remind me of that Simpsons episode where they get the trampoline and the Flanders kids are jumping on it, saying "Each leap brings us closer to God! Catch me Lord, catch me!"

Women's Doubles

Cara Black of Zimbabwe and Liezel Huber of South Africa handed Australians Bryanne Stewart and Samantha Stosur a straight sets defeat, 6-0, 6-2 in the women's doubles semi-final. The entire thing lasted less than an hour. It was brutal.

Unfortunately, Martina Navratilova and her young partner Anna-Lena Groenefeld won't meet Black and Huber in the women's doubles final; they were swept aside by Svetlana Kuznetsova and Amelie Mauresmo 6-4, 6-4. It's too bad. I was looking forward to seeing Martina play in a Wimbledon final for the first time since 2003. Oh well; there's always next year.

Mixed Doubles

Unfortunately, Martina Navratilova and partner Mike Bryan were knocked out of the mixed doubles in their quarter-final match against Liezel Huber and Kevin Ullyett. The Africans defeated the Americans 4-6, 6-4, 9-7. It was a fascinating match. Mike Bryan and Martina Navratilova were close in the third set, but the Africans just overpowered them. They will play Paul Hanley and Tatiana Perebiynis in the mixed doubles semi-final, which also features Jonas Bjorkman and Lisa Raymond playing against Mahesh Bhupathi and Mary Pierce. Should be exciting, though not as exciting as it would have been with Martina there.

Women's Final

2005-07-01T16:34:00.000-07:00

It's all settled. Venus Williams, the 14th seed and 2000-2001 champion and 2002-2003 runner-up, will play Lindsay Davenport, the top seed and 1999 champion and 2000 runner-up. Wow. That's a lot to type.

There isn't a lot to choose between the two at the moment; they're both fit and they both seem to be on top of their games, though Davenport has been more consistent over the last year than Williams has. She has defeated Williams in their last four meetings and leads their lifetime series 14-12, but she has never defeated Williams at Wimbledon. Ever. That's a big mental block to overcome but if anyone can, it's Lindsay Davenport. They're both American too, so I don't know which one to root for. I think I'm leaning slightly towards Davenport because she's the slight underdog here. She's 29 and approaching retirement very fast, so I'd like to see her win another grand slam title before she rides off into the sunset. Venus is only 25, so she has a few more good years on the tour in front of her. She has time to win more titles; Lindsay doesn't really.

Having said that, I'll be pleased either way; I like both women!

Day Eleven Roundup

2005-07-01T16:14:00.000-07:00

Roger Federer vs Lleyton Hewitt

It seems that at the moment, nobody can touch Federer. The man is just rock-solid. He beat Lleyton Hewitt in straight sets 6-3, 6-4, 7-6 (7-4). Hewitt just could not beat him, and he played his little heart out. Bless.

"Must! Beat! Federer!"

Lleyton slowly realizes that he, in fact, sucks compared to Federer.

Lleyton Hewitt's fiancee, Rebecca Cartwright of Home and Away "fame" proves that Australians can be just as chavvy as British people.

I must admit that the men's side of Wimbledon has been pretty boring since Federer burst onto the scene. It's boring watching him play because you're almost 100% sure he's going to humiliate whoever he's playing against. YAWN.

Mauresmo vs Davenport

It was over in four minutes. Four minutes. Mauresmo served a love service game to take the third set to 5-4. Davenport did the same to take the set and with it, the match. She meets Venus Williams in the final on Saturday.

Poor Amelie...always the bridesmaid.

Amelie and Lindsay, sittin' in a tree....just kidding. I know Mauresmo is French.

Johansson vs Roddick

"Like my new nose? I'm funny!"

What can I say about this match? There's not much to say. Roddick was up 6-5 in the first set when THIS happened:

BLAST!

Men's Doubles

Wesley Moodie and Stephen Huss have become the first qualifiers in the history of the Wimbledon tournament to reach the men's doubles final, defeating No. 1 seeds Jonas Bjorkman and Max Mirnyi 2-6, 6-2, 6-4, 7-6 (7-4). Wow. Good luck, fellas. They will play the No. 2 seeds Bob and Mike Bryan (who is paired with Martina Navratilova in the Mixed Doubles) in the final. Bob and Mike Bryan defeated the No. 4 seeds Wayne Black and Kevin Ullyett 4-6, 6-3, 6-4, 6-4.

Mixed Doubles

The unseeded pair Mary Pierce and Mahesh Bhupathi defeated No. 12 seeds Kim Clijsters and Olivier Rochus 6-1, 7-5 in the Mixed Doubles quarterfinals. Pierce/Bhupathi will play the winners of the Woodbridge/Stosur vs Bjorkman/Raymond match in the semi-finals.

Day Ten Roundup

2005-07-01T02:55:00.000-07:00

Maria Sharapova is out.

That's right. The defending Wimbledon champion went down in straight sets to former women's champion Venus Williams (2000, 2001). The second set was an absolute drubbing. Just look at the score: 7-6 (7-2), 6-1. It's like she gave up halfway through the first set tiebreaker.

She looks angrier than a skilletful of rattlesnakes here. This is pretty much the same pissed-off look she had throughout the match. Not "I'm gonna win" angry. This was "I'm losing to someone I've beaten every time I've played" angry, and that kind of angry doesn't win matches. Sorry Maria, you got served.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Venus is all "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" and Maria's all "waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Rain Delays: "Ladies and Gentlemen, play is suspended..."

Most of yesterday's play was wiped out by weather. I'd have posted yesterday, but I was busy watching "House, MD." I love that show. Anyway, I turned on the TV at 1pm and saw this:

Noooooooooooooooooooooo! Lindsay and Amelie were just about to START! It's not fair! The BBC said the rain may let up later.

At 2pm, I checked back and saw this:

Noooooooooooo! Blast!

At 3pm, I checked back and saw this:

Noooooooooooo!

At 4pm, I checked back and saw this:

Noooooooooooo!

At 5pm, I checked back and saw this:

Noooooooooooo!
You get the idea.

The Mauresmo/Davenport match was delayed for four hours and 20 minutes and was eventually moved to Court 1 while Williams and Sharapova duked it out on Centre Court; both matches were originally scheduled to be played on Centre Court with Mauresmo and Davenport playing first.

Davenport vs Mauresmo

This match was not completed due to rain delays. First, rain delayed the start of the match. Then, with a set all and Davenport up 5-3 in the third set, the match was suspended due to rain. Blast!

At first, Amelie Mauresmo was pretty dominant.

Lindsay Davenport looks like she's praying for rain here.

She got her wish; here's Mauresmo taking her time leaving Court 1 after play was suspended.

So, I had to content myself with this:

Men's Semi-Final

2005-06-29T18:27:00.000-07:00

Roger Federer takes on Lleyton Hewitt. Federer has a lifetime 9-7 record against Hewitt, but Hewitt has not beaten Roger Federer on grass since 2001. Federer defeated Hewitt in four sets in their last grass court match, which was the 2004 Wimbledon quarter-final. I think Federer will win this match, but not as easily as he has won his other matches at this year's championships.

Thomas Johansson takes on Andy Roddick. Andy Roddick has beaten Johansson both times they've played each other, one of those wins being a grass court four set victory in 2001 at Wimbledon. I think Roddick will win this match.

Day Nine Roundup

2005-06-29T17:45:00.000-07:00

Roger Federer vs Fernando Gonzalez

"I'm just going to sit here and chill out while Gonzalez blasts balls over the baseline. Leave alone. Roger conserving energy."

Roger Federer demolished Chilean Fernando Gonzalez 7-5, 6-2, 7-6 (7-2) in less than two hours. Raise your hand if you DIDN'T know this would happen. Didn't think so.

Lleyton Hewitt vs Feliciano Lopez

"YES! I'm ready to have my ass kicked by Roger Federer!"

Hewitt and Federer's matches lasted about as long as each other, which kind of sucked because I had to keep flipping back and forth between them and they ended about the same time. I don't like it when that happens because I can't watch two matches at once. Hewitt beat Lopez 7-5, 6-4, 7-6 (7-2). I did get to see the oh-so-interesting "hindrance" call on Lopez, though. I thought it was well-deserved. The line judges or the chair umpire determines when a shot is out, not the players. Jerk.

Thomas Johansson vs David Nalbandian

"If I don't win my semi-final match, there's always the Matthew Lillard look-alike contest!"

Seriously. Compare Johansson (above) with Lillard (below). Freaky.

Thomas Johansson becomes the first Swede in a Wimbledon semi-final since Stefan Edberg in 1993. Yay Sweden! He beat Nalbandian pretty definitively 7-6 (7-5), 6-2, 6-2. Nalbandian might have had more of a shot if he could have converted any of the zillion break points he had in that first set; the momentum could have gone Nalbandian's way and he might have run off with the match. You know how he HATES to play five-setters. His serve was also off and he made a LOT of unforced errors (33 to Johansson's 13). It'll be interesting the next time these two meet up; this was their first meeting ever.

Sebastien Grosjean vs Andy Roddick

"Yay! I'm cute! And funny!"

This was really the only interesting match in the men's quarter-finals. It was also the only one that wasn't a straight-sets victory. It took Andy Roddick five grueling sets to finally defeat Sebastien Grosjean 3-6, 6-2, 6-1, 3-6, 6-3 and that hinged on Grosjean's first serve going bye-bye in a very big way.

Mixed Doubles

Kim Clijsters and Olivier Rochus sent Venus Williams and Mike Knowles packing in their third round mixed doubles victory on Court 2 today. Appropriately nicknamed the "graveyard of champions," the 8th seeded Williams/Knowles pairing fell in three sets to the 12th seeded Clijsters/Rochus pair, 6-3, 3-6, 7-5. I like seeing Kim Clijsters happy. Clijsters and Rochus take on Mary Pierce and Mahesh Bhupathi in the quarter-finals.

This is the pair that I'd like to see win, since Black/Black were eliminated in the second round. Some people think it's selfish of Martina Navratilova to try for a 21st Wimbledon title. I don't. She's 48, she can still compete at this level, and she still has the drive and desire. Why should she stop? Why relegate herself to an elder statesmens' competition (like Tracy Austin and John McEnroe) when she can still go for doubles titles? I think she kicks ASS. She's been a professional tennis player as long as I've been alive, and many players my age are considering hanging up their rackets...but not Martina. She and her partner Mike Bryan take on Kevin Ullyett and Liezel Huber, seeded fourth, in the mixed doubles quarter-final.

Ladies' Doubles

More Martina! Martina and her ladies' doubles partner Anna-Lena Groenefeld won their ladies' doubles quarter-final match today against Vera Douchevina and Shahar Peer 7-6 (7-5), 6-4. It was a pretty good match; there was some great play at the net, though Martina's serve looked a little shaky. For her. For any other player it would kick ass, but Martina's serve is usually rock solid and she double-faulted. The match was high-quality with great serving and relatively few unforced errors from either side. Navratilova/Groenefeld also converted 100% of their break points. Awesome! Navratilova/Groenefeld will play whoever wins the Kuznetsova/Mauresmo vs Likhovtseva/Zvonareva match.

Cara Black and Liezel Huber are getting no attention whatsoever in this tournament. They played their ladies' quarter-final on Centre Court this evening, which was practically a ghost town. I was embarrassed for them. People don't take women's doubles seriously, and that pisses me off.

Their quarterfinal match against Daniela Hantuchova and Ai Sugiyama was quick and painless at 6-3, 6-2. I bet neither Black nor Huber actually broke a sweat. They take on 11th seeds Bryanne Stewart and Samantha Stosur next.

Men's Doubles

To be honest I couldn't care less about men's doubles, but I should probably mention that the noteworthy men's doubles player Todd Woodbridge of Australia is hanging up his racket after Wimbledon. I think he has more doubles titles than...anyone ever. He and Mahesh Bhupathi lost their second round men's doubles match to Stephen Huss and Wesley Moodie, but he's still in the mixed doubles competition with Samantha Stosur; they take on Jonas Bjorkman and Lisa Raymond in the quarter-final.

Another noteworthy name in the men's doubles is Wayne Black. He and his sister Cara Black, the defending mixed doubles champions, lost their second round match after a first round bye, but both are still in the single-sex doubles. He and partner Kevin Ullyett defeated Leander Paes and Nenad Zimonjic for a place in the semi-finals. They take on brothers Bob and Mike Bryan next.

Men's Quarter-Finals

2005-06-29T03:19:00.000-07:00

The men's quarter-final matches will be played today. We'll see Federer take on Fernando Gonzalez of Chile, Lleyton Hewitt take on Feliciano Lopez of Spain, Thomas Johansson of Sweden take on David Nalbandian of Argentina, and Sebastien Grosjean take on Andy Roddick.

Federer has a 4-0 record against Fernando Gonzalez, but all of their matches have been on clay or hard surfaces.

Lleyton Hewitt has only played Feliciano Lopez once and beat him on a hard surface in 2004.

Thomas Johansson and David Nalbandian have never played each other before.

Andy Roddick leads Sebastien Grosjean 6-1 in lifetime matches and has only ever lost to him on clay. Every time the two have played each other on grass, Roddick has won in straight sets. Let's hope tradition holds true today.

I'll pick Federer and Roddick to win their matches today, and I'm leaning towards Lleyton Hewitt to beat Feliciano Lopez. I'm on the fence with Johansson and Nalbandian!

Women's Semi-Final

2005-06-29T03:15:00.000-07:00

Lindsay Davenport will take on Amelie Mauresmo and Venus Williams will take on Maria Sharapova. It would be GREAT to have an all-American final. This is going to be a great semi-final. We have three...three Wimbledon singles champions (Davenport 1999, Williams 2000 & 2001, Sharapova 2004). QUALITY!

Lindsay Davenport leads Amelie Mauresmo 8-3 in lifetime matchups, though I don't think they've ever played each other on grass before. Mauresmo hasn't beaten Davenport since 2000, so it ought to be interesting. I stated earlier that Sharapova has beaten Williams both times they've played each other, but they've never played each other on grass either.

Day Eight Roundup

2005-06-29T02:21:00.000-07:00

Davenport vs Kuznetsova

Svetlana's all "Errr, I'm losing. I'm going to blind Lindsay Davenport with the glare from my braces." Didn't work!

Svetlana Kuznetsova gave Lindsay Davenport a few problems, but that's not surprising. Kuznetsova is 9 years Davenport's junior and is a grand slam champion herself (US Open). It's just too bad that one of them had to win and one of them had to lose, but Davenport was the clear winner: 7-6 (7-1), 6-3.

Cool, calm, and confident...just how I like to see Lindsay Davenport.

Amelie Mauresmo vs Anastasia Myskina

Anastasia Myskina's series of lucky escapes came to an end on Tuesday with a definitive straight sets win by the Frenchwoman Amelie Mauresmo. The score was 6-3, 6-4. It was a pretty dull match because it was one-sided, but it's always interesting to see a happy Mauresmo doing her magic stuff at the net.

"Losing is hard work!"

"I'm barely breaking a sweat! Eat my drop shots!"

Mary Pierce vs Venus Williams

"Jesus, make her stop!"

Mary Pierce fell to Venus Williams 0-6, 6-7 (10-12) in the weirdest match of the quarterfinal. This match seemed like a microcosm of Pierce's career, with all of her weird facial and body tics on display and uneven, inconsistent tennis played with a confidence problem. When she's on, she's ON...but she wasn't on today, and Venus was most assuredly in good form. I'm glad to see Venus doing so well.

"Check this out, she's sucking her THUMB y'all!"

Nadia Petrova vs Maria Sharapova

Maria Sharapova was really challenged for the first time in this tournament by the 8th seed Nadia Petrova. Maria Sharapova has been showing worrying breaks in form when she has been in the slightest bit challenged which may not bode well for her. She faces Venus Williams on Thursday. Maria Sharapova may be confident since she has beaten Williams in straight sets both times they've played each other, but she was facing a Venus not at her best in 2004 and 2005. Venus Williams has won Wimbledon twice so she knows what it takes to succeed here. This ought to be a VERY interesting matchup.

"Bring it on, Venus!"

Jana Novotna and Tracy Austin

Jana Novotna and Tracy Austin are in the Women's Over 35 Doubles, which is played round-robin style. They went out and drubbed their opponents in straight sets yesterday, which was lovely. Jana Novotna has an interesting history at Wimbledon. In 1993, she blew a 6-7, 6-1, 4-1, 40-15 lead against Steffi Graf in the women's final and was sobbing on the Duchess of Kent's shoulder at the trophy presentation.

She managed to win the elusive Wimbledon singles title in 1998 after losing the 1997 final to Martina Hingis. I was watching all of Jana Novotna's Wimbledon finals. I was rooting for Steffi Graf in 1993, though I can't remember why; I was a huge Monica Seles fan in the 1990s and Seles had just been stabbed that spring and there was a lot of Steffi Graf-hating going on. I was annoyed at Martina Hingis for winning the 1997 match, but I was so happy for Jana Novotna in 1998 that I actually cried almost as much as she did when she won the title. Good times.

John McEnroe

The bitch is back! Love the pirate look. Arrr, matey!

John McEnroe saw action at Wimbledon for the first time since 1999, when he and Steffi Graf competed in mixed doubles. McEnroe is competing in Men's Over 45 doubles. He and his partner, Peter Fleming, beat John Feaver and John Lloyd 6-3, 6-4. Some of the older among you may remember John Lloyd from when he was married to American tennis superstar Chris Evert. It was great to see so many of the old greats on the court.

Day Seven Roundup

2005-06-27T18:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Svetlana Kuznetsova!

Svetlana Kuznetsova turned 20 years old on Monday AND won her match against Magdalena Maleeva today. Hooray for her!

Andy Roddick

Andy Roddick cruised into the quarterfinals with a straight sets win over Guillermo Coria 6-3, 7-6 (7-1), 6-4. Check out his shorts in this picture. Rowwwwr. D'ya think he's happy?

Mary Pierce

The Jesus freak is through to the quarterfinals of Wimbledon for only the second time in her career; the first time was in 1996. I just don't like her. Blech. Hopefully Venus Williams will give her a good drubbing on Tuesday and I won't have to see her again. It's all in Jesus's hands now, Mary.

Anastasia Myskina

I totally didn't think she'd win today, and for a while Elena Dementieva was right on top of her, thumping her in the first set. Normally when you make 52 unforced errors in a match, you lose. She had more unforced errors (52 to 34) and fewer winners (23 to 25) than Dementieva, but somehow she managed to win. This also proves that you can win more games in a match than your opponent and still lose the match. Myskina won 15 games to Dementieva's 17. It just doesn't seem fair, does it? She won the points that counted.

Amelie Mauresmo

"RRRRRRRRRRRR! Mauresmo HUNGRY for VICTORY!"

Mauresmo continued her quiet creep through the draw with a definitive win over Elena Likhovtseva. Nobody's pegging her to win this tournament. Poor Amelie...always a bridesmaid.

Martina Navratilova

Martina's like, "Hey guys, I know I'm like older than the rest of you put together, but can you stop farting around so we can PLAY some TENNIS?"

Martina Navratilova and Anna-Lena Groenefeld continued their march through the ladies' doubles competition with a straight sets third round victory over Shinobu Asagoe and Katarina Srebotnik. They play Vera Douchevina and Shahar Peer next.

Meanwhile, Roger Federer's like, "dum-de-dum-diddly-dee, I'm having fun!"

Roger Federer won his fourth round match against Juan Carlos Ferrero 6-3, 6-4 7-6. Big fuckin' surprise there.

Maria Sharapova

Nathalie Dechy looks afraid of the ball here. She should be!

Maria Sharapova beat Nathalie Dechy 6-4, 6-2. You'd have to be Mr. Magoo to not see this one coming. She plays Nadia Petrova next. I bet Lindsay Davenport is having dreams of Nadia Petrova drubbing Maria Sharapova on Tuesday. Mmmm, sleep tight!

Venus Williams

Venus is like, "You mess with my sister, you mess with ME!"

Jill Craybas is like, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Dmitry Tursunov

Sebastien Grosjean beat Dmitry Tursunov 6-4, 6-7 (5-7), 6-3, 3-6, 6-1. Tursunov is the guy who knocked Henman out. Do you realize what this means? NOTHING AT ALL!

Lindsay Davenport

Now that she has knocked out Kim Clijsters, everyone's saying how she's going to win. Tracey Austin won't shut up about it. Sure, Davenport has beaten the big names left in the draw. Sure, she's playing better than she has in years and seems to really have the hunger to win another title...but it's only the quarterfinals. She plays Svetlana Kuznetsova next. Those two have played each other twice. Kuznetsova beat her at the US Open in 2004 on her way to the title, and Davenport beat her this year on carpet. It ought to be interesting.

My predictions were pretty accurate!

2005-06-27T15:12:00.000-07:00

Here's how my women's draw predictions measured up against reality:

SPOT ON: Lindsay Davenport over Kim Clijsters in three sets.

SPOT ON: Venus Williams over Jill Craybas in straight sets.

HALF RIGHT: Svetlana Kuznetsova over Magdalena Maleeva in three sets; in reality, Kuznetsova beat Maleeva in straight sets.

HALF RIGHT: Amelie Mauresmo over Elena Likhovtseva in three sets; in reality, Mauresmo won in straight sets.

HALF RIGHT: Mary Pierce over Flavia Pennetta in three sets; in reality, Pierce won in straight sets.

HALF RIGHT: Nadia Petrova over Kveta Peschke in straight sets; in reality, Petrova won 2 sets to 1.

HALF RIGHT: Maria Sharapova over Nathalie Dechy in three sets; in reality, Sharapova won in straight sets.

WRONG: Elena Dementieva over Anastasia Myskina in straight sets; in reality, Myskina won in a three-set cliffhanger, but Dementieva nearly won.

I picked the winner in seven of the eight women's singles matches played today. I rule!

Here's how my men's draw predictions measured up against reality:

SPOT ON: Roger Federer over Juan Carlos Ferrero in straight sets.

HALF RIGHT: Fernando Gonzalez over Mikhail Youzhny dropping a set; in reality, Gonzalez won in straight sets.

HALF RIGHT: Lleyton Hewitt over Taylor Dent in a close match. Depends on how you define "close." Dent didn't exactly get his ass kicked, but it wasn't a five setter...so I'll give myself half credit.

HALF RIGHT: Feliciano Lopez over Mario Ancic dropping a set; in reality, Lopez beat Ancic in three sets.

HALF RIGHT: Thomas Johansson over Max Mirnyi in a close match; in reality, Johansson beat Mirnyi in straight sets.

HALF RIGHT: Andy Roddick over Guillermo Coria in a close match; in reality, Roddick beat Coria in straight sets.

WRONG: Richard Gasquet over David Nalbandian in a close match; in reality, Nalbandian beat Gasquet in straight, one-sided sets.

WRONG: Dmitry Tursunov over Sebastien Grosjean dropping a set; in reality, Grosjean won in five sets.

I picked the winner in six of the eight men's singles matches played today. Not a bad record!

All singles 4th round matches today!

2005-06-27T03:22:00.000-07:00

All of the men's and women's 4th round matches will be played today, weather and light permitting. YAY! I love the second week of Wimbledon; the singles draws have narrowed and we get to see some doubles and mixed doubles play, which I really enjoy. I'm really looking forward to seeing whether Martina Navratilova progresses in her ladies' doubles match today, and Cara Black is on court in both ladies' doubles and mixed doubles. So it's going to be a full day of terrific tennis today, and I didn't even get any snacks. Blast!

Sunday Funnies

2005-06-26T03:32:00.000-07:00

Tennis photos lend themselves to silly captions so easily. They're pretty irreverent, but it's all in good fun. They're all great players, but I couldn't resist.

Fernando Gonzalez does his impression of a chimpanzee taking a dump.

Andy Roddick is going to STAB YOU!

"Yen-Hsun Lu is NUMBER ONE!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR! I'm TOUGH!"

"Like my jazz hands?"

"Oh SHIT! It's headed right for me! What do I do?"

"After this is over, I'm going to head to the Ministry of Silly Walks and try to get funding!"

"Me too!"

"Ow! That hurt!"

"But SIR, he STARTED it. No, I will NOT simmer down. It's not FAIR. He's laughing at me! Look! What? If I settle down, we'll get McDonalds? Erm....OK."

"If I can't hit it, maybe I can catch it with my other hand. Eeeeeeeeeeee!"

"I'm so hot, I can rub my own man-boob and play tennis at the same time."

"Anyone want some Justin? Ladies?"

"The net said yes. Yesssssssssssssss!"

Trainer: "What you have here, Justin, is an arm." Justin: "Thanks man, I was wondering what that thing was."

Kim Clijsters is oblivious to her alien hand heading towards her nose at high speed. Maybe it's in cahoots with Lindsay Davenport.

Aiko Nakamura doesn't like you.

It's a new game...throw the tennis ball through Venus's giant hoop earrings. If she swats it away, you lose a turn.

BREAKING NEWS! Russian tennis beauty Maria Sharapova, 18, has given birth to a tennis ball during play today. "It just popped out," said Sharapova. "I didn't even know I was expecting."

"Mmm, I've only been using this towel to wipe sweat off myself for four sets now. My sweat tastes good."

"Dude...I'm totally going to try this again back at the hotel. Alone. Mmmm."

Mark Philippoussis checks to see if he's still alive since his playing has been so bad.

"Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt. It is so big. *scoff* I mean, her butt, is just so big. I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, out there..."

Andrew Murray makes his special ed face.

It's a new game! Get the ball into Jonas Bjorkman's mouth, win a prize! 1 pound for three balls!

Mmmm, homoerotica on Centre Court. I wonder what the Duke and Duchess of Kent think about this, not to mention Sean Connery. He looks like the type that doesn't like poofs.

"Here, have a racket. I won't be needing it anymore; I'm late for a movie premiere anyway."

"What do you mean, 'tennis racket.' Is THAT what this is?"

"Come and get it, ladies!"

Feliciano Lopez tries to intimidate his opponent with an aggressive sexual display.

Judging by their expressions, a British player must be on court.

Women's Draw: My Round Four Picks

2005-06-25T16:32:00.000-07:00

Lindsay Davenport over Kim Clijsters in three sets

Svetlana Kuznetsova over Magdalena Maleeva in three sets

Amelie Mauresmo over Elena Likhovtseva in three sets

Elena Dementieva over Anastasia Myskina in straight sets

Mary Pierce over Flavia Pennetta in three sets

Venus Williams over Jill Craybas in straight sets

Nadia Petrova over Kveta Peschke in straight sets

Maria Sharapova over Nathalie Dechy in three sets

Men's Draw: My Round Four Picks

2005-06-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

Roger Federer over Juan Carlos Ferrero in straight sets

Fernando Gonzalez over Mikhail Youzhny dropping a set

Lleyton Hewitt over Taylor Dent in a close match

Feliciano Lopez over Mario Ancic dropping a set

Thomas Johansson over Max Mirnyi in a close match

Richard Gasquet over David Nalbandian in a close match

Dmitry Tursunov over Sebastien Grosjean dropping a set

Andy Roddick over Guillermo Coria in a close match

Day Six Roundup

2005-06-25T15:17:00.000-07:00

Andrew Murray

My husband hoped Andy Murray would win. I said that David Nalbandian would take him to school. By the end of the second set, it looked like I was dead wrong and my husband, who knows nothing about tennis, was right. However, after three lopsided sets, I was eventually vindicated at 6-7 (4-7), 1-6, 6-0, 6-4, 6-1. Andy Murray definitely has the talent to succeed at this level, but he's in terrible shape. His lack of muscle tone was painfully obvious next to Nalbandian. He also has an attitude problem, being snappy with ball boys, arguing with the chair umpire over valid line calls, whipping the crowd into a frenzy to intimidate Nalbandian (who wasn't rapped for racquet abuse; apparently the chair ump felt sorry for him), and hooting and celebrating each game won as if he had just won the entire tournament. He's only 18, though. He'll learn.

"By the authority vested in me as a Scot...I COMMAND you to win, you brigand!"

"It's SO unfair! I was up 2 sets to love and now HE'S winning! Mommy, Sean Connery, make it STOP!"

Roger Federer

Roger Federer won his match against German Nicolas Kiefer 6-2, 6-7 (5-7), 6-1, 7-5. Big fuckin' surprise there.

Jill Craybas

"I'm the ugliest chick ever to beat Serena Williams! Yay for me!"

Jill Craybas beat Serena Williams 6-3,7-6 (7-4) for the first time in her career in today's Round Three match. Craybas held her nerve (for once) while Williams sprayed balls all over the court, making over 30 unforced errors. This is the worst I have ever seen her play, and this defeat marks her worst performance in a grand slam since the French Open in 1999. This just confirms that Serena Williams didn't really give a shit about preparing for this year's Wimbledon, and she deserved to lose.

Begging won't help, Serena. You sucked today and you know it. You lost a match in straight sets to an 80-somethingith ranked player on the edge of retirement. SHAME on you.

Jill Craybas will almost certainly be eviscerated in Round Four by Serena's big sister Venus, who won her Round Three match against Daniela Hantuchova. Speaking of which...

"Let me dry off my armpits. Playing Venus makes me sweat."

Speaking of armpits...

Lindsay Davenport

We get to see Lindsay's armpits whenever she wins a match. It's a rule.

Lindsay Davenport wiped the court with Dinara Safina (Marat Safin's baby sister) today 6-2, 6-1. Lindsay showed some worrying form breaks; she'll need to step up her game a notch when she meets Kim Clijsters in Round Four. Lindsay usually saves her best tennis for the second week of a grand slam, so hopefully she'll be able to see off Clijsters. Don't get me wrong, I like Kim Clijsters...but when an American is playing someone of any other nationality, I have to root for the American.

Dmitry Tursunov

Unseeded Dmitry Tursunov knocked out unseeded German Alexander Popp 5-7, 7-6 (7-5), 6-2, 6-2 today. He knocked out Tim Henman, so I automatically like him for putting an end to the ridiculous "Henmania" that grips this country every year. Yay Dmitry!

Mary Pierce

Bad hair, wrinkly forehead, eyes like pissholes in the snow...ladies and gentlemen, meet Mary Pierce!

Can you tell I don't like Mary Pierce? What gave it away? Pierce stormed into Round Four today with a 6-1, 6-4 victory over Serbian Ana Ivanovic, who made her Wimbledon debut this year. I think Mary Pierce has had the easiest draw by far of any woman at Wimbledon this year. I hope Flavia Pennetta kicks her ass in Round Four, but with my luck I'll have to look at her silly pinchy face in the quarter-finals. Blech. If she beats Flavia Pennetta, she'll play either Venus Williams or Jill Craybas in the next round.

Women's Draw Preview: Round Four

2005-06-25T02:33:00.000-07:00

Magdalena Maleeva plays Svetlana Kuznetsova (5) in Round Four.

Amelie Mauresmo (3) plays Elena Likhovtseva (13) in Round Four. Incidentally, Mauresmo has not dropped a set yet in this year's Wimbledon.

Anastasia Myskina (9) plays Elena Dementieva (6) next.

There's a potential Williams vs Williams meetup in Round Four. If Venus Williams beats Daniela Hantuchova and Serena Williams beats Jill Craybas, they'll meet up in Round Four. A far cry from the two of them meeting up in the QF, SF, or final, as has been the case in the past.

Men's Draw Preview: Round Four

2005-06-25T02:30:00.000-07:00

Fernando Gonzalez (21) is through, beating Joachim Johansson (11); he plays the winner of the Youzhny/Bjorkman match.

Lleyton Hewitt (3) and Taylor Dent (24) play each other in Round Four.

Mario Ancic (10) beat Gael Monfils and Feliciano Lopez (26) beat Marat Safin (5); Ancic and Lopez meet up in Round Four.

In Action Today

2005-06-25T02:20:00.000-07:00

Today is going to be an extremely busy day because of all of yesterday's matches that have to be played today. In brief:

Centre Court: Federer vs Kiefer, Vinci vs Clijsters, Andrew Murray vs David Nalbandian, Craybas vs S. Williams.

Court 1: Srebotnik vs Sharapova, V. Williams vs Hantuchova, Andreev vs Roddick.

(Doesn't seem fair that Andy Roddick has to play again today; he just finished up a match yesterday.

Court 2: Ferrero vs Mayer, Davenport vs Safina, Tipsarevic vs Johansson, Chladkova/Razzano vs Groenefeld/Navratilova. Whoopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Court 13: Mirnyi vs Novak, Daniilidou vs Pennetta, Gasquet vs Muller. I bet you the BBC won't show Daniilidou's match because they SUCK.

Court 14: Petrova vs Black, Tursunov vs Popp, Morigami/Musgrave vs Black/Huber. Tursunov, you may remember, showed Tim Henman the door in Round Two. (I bet you the BBC won't show the Petrova/Black match either, because of how much the BBC SUCKS. Usually their coverage of Wimbledon is very good, but it's really terrible this year. I don't know who is choosing the matches, but I'd like a WORD. There should also be more than five to choose from. There should be TEN. At least.)

Day Five, Part One

2005-06-24T09:30:00.000-07:00

Rain has interrupted play for the day, so let's catch up on the action so far.

Svetlana Kuznetsova

Russian 5th seed Svetlana Kuznetsova's marathon 2 hr 12 minute match against Nicole Vaidisova was one of the best I've seen so far this Championships. Vaidisova looks and sounds like Maria Sharapova, but she lacked the skills and consistency to put away Kuznetsova, who was not playing at her best. Kuznetsova took the match 7-5, 6-7, 6-2 and will take on Bulgarian Magdalena Maleeva in Round Four.

"Aww, shit...why won't you let me win! This is so unfair!"

Marat Safin

"I like to cuss!"

Russian fifth seed Marat Safin went down in straight sets to Feliciano Lopez, the 26th seed from Spain. What an upset! Marat Safin's frustration at not being able to convert two break points was obvious as he was warned for abusive language. Hehehehehe!

Justin Gimelstob

This guy is so entertaining. He lost in straight sets 7-6 (7-5), 6-4, 7-5 to Australian third seed Lleyton Hewitt, but this dive for a Hewitt forehand was just hilarious. He had to take a medical timeout afterwards, and the entire Centre Court crowd was delighted by his whining at how much the treatment for his strained shoulder hurt. "Owww, owww, owww!" Lleyton Hewitt takes on Taylor Dent in the next round.

Anastasia Myskina

I had picked Serbian 17th seed Jelena Jankovic to win this match because she's a scrappy little fighter and Myskina has been so lethargic lately, but Jankovic's inability to handle the pressure coupled with Myskina getting lucky in the last set meant that Myskina took the match 6-0, 5-7, 10-8 in a marathon, nail-biting match. This is by far the best match all week. Incredible. It took over three hours for these two to duke it out. You hardly ever see womens' matches lasting that long. There were also several sparkling rallies with well over 30 shots apiece. They were like this:

*thump*

*thump*

*thump*

*thump*

*thump*

*thump*

Etc.

In Action Today

2005-06-24T02:20:00.000-07:00

Centre Court is going to be jammed with great matches today. Unseeded Justin Gimelstob takes on the number 3 seed Lleyton Hewitt, then Andy Roddick and Daniele Bracciali will continue their match, which had to be suspended due to poor light. Kim Clijsters takes on Roberta Vinci of Italy, and Roger Federer meets the 25th seed German Nicolas Kiefer. I'm betting conservatively with Hewitt, Roddick, Clijsters, and Federer.

Court 1 sees number 5 seet Marat Safin take on the Spanish 26th seed Feliciano Lopez. Mario Ancic plays Gael Monfils, and Lindsay Davenport takes on Marat Safin's sister, Dinara Safina. Should be interesting. I'm betting that Davenport beats Safina, but I don't even want to guess on the others.

Court 2 sees some interesting action with Svetlana Kuznetsova playing Nicole Vaidisova and Anna-Lena Groenefeld and Martina Navratilova taking on Denisa Chladkova and Virginie Razzano in second-round doubles.

Court 13 sees Amelie Mauresmo vs Shenay Perry and Anastasia Myskina vs Jelena Jankovic. I'm betting on Mauresmo and Jankovic.

Mixed doubles play also gets underway today. Hooray!

Day Four Roundup

2005-06-23T12:57:00.000-07:00

Andy Murray

We have another sullen, arrogant British tennis star. What can I say? The same afternoon that all hope was lost for "Tiger Tim," this 18 year-old Scottish kid pulls a huge upset over 14th seed Radek Stepanek in straight sets, 6-4, 6-4, 6-4. Murray is ranked 312th in the world and this is his first grand slam event. Murray faces Nalbandian in Round Three.

Tim Henman

I'm really happy to see the back of this guy. Henman is starting to realize that his old-fashioned game and his stubborn persistence in clinging to a serve-volley game isn't going to win him Wimbledon. I don't know why the guy hasn't done more strength training or worked on his serve. He gets pummeled by the power hitters and usually gets taken to 4 or 5 sets against them, but in the past his experience and technical skills were enough to get him out of most binds against lower-ranked players. Not today. Tim, it's time you realized something: you will never win a grand slam because you're a lazy sod.

Daniela Hantuchova

"Look at me! I gained weight! Daniela strong now!"

Daniela Hantuchova attracted some negative press a few years ago when her weight plummeted and she seemed ready to unravel emotionally at any given moment, but she seems much more focused now. Having said that, she's still prone to losing herself in thought when she should be playing tennis. She has an amazing touch and can come up with absolutely gorgeous shots...when her mind is in the game. Hantuchova has the game to win a grand slam, but she doesn't have the mental strength to match. Maybe Ritalin would help. Hantuchova won her Round Two match against Israeli Shahar Peer 6-2, 2-6, 6-3 and will face Venus Williams in Round Three.

Eleni Daniilidou

I'm so annoyed that the BBC didn't show Daniilidou's match against Laura Granville. It wouldn't have taken much airtime; she creamed her 6-2, 6-0. She faces the 26th seed Italian Flavia Pennetta in Round Three. The BBC better show that match.

Cara Black

More well-known as a doubles champion, Cara Black is doing well at this year's Championships. She played in the third round in 1998 and 2003 but didn't progress. She won a doubles title at Wimbledon in 2004 and is entered in singles, ladies' doubles, and mixed doubles, so she has a full plate. She upset the number 32 seed Frenchwoman Virginie Razzano, and has already won her first round ladies' doubles match. She and her brother Wayne were given a bye for the first round mixed doubles competition. I hope she makes it to the fourth round; I really enjoy watching her play, or I would if the BBC would ever show HER matches either. So far none of her matches have been broadcast. Black will play the 8th-seeded Russian Nadia Petrova in Round Three.

Rafael Nadal

"I'm bored with losing. Anyone mind if I have a short nap?"

The French Open champion and fourth seed Rafael Nadal lost 6-4, 4-6, 6-3, 6-4 to Gilles Muller of Luxembourg, who is playing in his first Wimbledon. Not bad for a player who lost his opening round qualifying match in 2004. Gilles Muller will go on to play 27th-seeded Frenchman Richard Gasquet in Round Three.

Serena Williams

"I'm ready for my close-up!"

Serena Williams dropped a set to Italian qualifier Mara Santangelo. I guess she was too busy thinking about clothes and movie premieres to concentrate on her tennis, or maybe she's "injured" again. Both Williams sisters really need to put more into their tennis. They can't fart around in Hollywood, then expect to win tournaments. It pisses me off to see them not playing at their best.

Maria Sharapova

"A tennis diva's work is never done."

I swear, Sharapova has had the easiest time of it so far. Sesil Karatantcheva lasted 46 minutes on Centre Court against the 2004 champion. I didn't even get to watch Sharapova's match; I was watching a different match and planned to switch over once it was finished, but Sharapova finished up so quickly that I didn't get to see any of it. Sharapova's opponent in Round Three will be Katarina Srebotnik of Slovakia.

Tim Henman crashes out!

2005-06-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

British hope for Wimbledon came to an abrupt end today as the British No. 1 and sixth seed, Tim Henman, crashed out in five spectacular sets on Centre Court to Russian Dmitry Tursunov, who won 3-6, 6-2, 3-6, 6-3, 8-6.

Tim, don't come back next year. The British public is sick of you LOSING.

"Perhaps a quick wipe will take care of that awful stench of failure."

In Action Today

2005-06-23T01:47:00.000-07:00

Tim Henman will continue his Wimbledon campaign with a match against Dmitry Tursunov of Russia on Centre Court today. We'll also get to see Serena Williams and Andy Roddick on Centre Court. It seems like most of the best action in men's and women's singles is in the bottom half of the draw!

On Court 1, we'll get to see Maria Sharapova play Sesil Karatancheva of Bulgaria, plus Nadal and another British hope, Andrew Murray, play the number 14 seed Radek Stepanek.

Jane O'Donoghue, another British player, will almost certainly be beaten by Nathalie Dechy on Court 2 today, and the Venus Williams vs Nicole Pratt match should be a walkover.

On Court 3 we'll see Mary Pierce play Julia Vakulenko and Lindsay Davenport begins her ladies' doubles campaign with her partner, Corina Morariu, later on today.

On Court 5, Eleni Daniilidou (who beat Justine Henin-Hardenne) will take on Laura Granville of the United States. Two unseeded players...Daniilidou who took down Henin-Hardenne, and Granville, relieved that she doesn't have to play Henin-Hardenne. Should be very interesting.

The number 9 seed Sebastien Grosjean of France is also in action today on Court 13, the number 20 seed Daniela Hantuchova and number 18 seed David Nalbandian are in action on Court 18.

Should be a great day! The draw is kind of lopsided, though. Most of the great matches that I want to see are in the bottom half of the draw.

Day Three Roundup

2005-06-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

Greg Rusedski

As the sun sets on Rusedski's career, he looks rather reflective here...cradling his weapon. The unseeded Rusedski lost to Swede Joachim Johansson in four sets, 7-6 (12-10), 3-6, 6-4, 7-6 (7-5).

Johansson is now 3-1 against Rusedski. Look for great things from this young Swede. He's 6'6". WOW.

Martina Navratilova

Martina Navratilova is 48 years old, yet is still playing in the Wimbledon ladies' doubles and mixed doubles championships. It's phenomenal. She already has 20 Wimbledon titles: one for each year of her doubles partner Anna-Lena Groenefeld's life. Amazing. She has won 176 singles titles and 173 doubles titles. She has won more tennis tournaments than any man or woman in history, and she's still going. Her last Wimbledon title was in the mixed doubles in 2003. I hope to see her lifting a trophy in 2005. She and Groenefeld are already on their way, beating Rika Fujiwara and Saori Obata 6-3, 6-3.

Jamea Jackson

Jamea Jackson may have lost her Round Two match to Lindsay Davenport 6-0, 6-3 but this young American is definitely no pushover. She's only 18 years old and this was her Wimbledon debut. She managed to break Davenport's serve, which is no easy task. I'm so pleased to see more young black women playing the game. It's wonderful.

Roger Federer

"Here's my Fred Astaire impression!"

Federer beat Czech Ivo Minar 6-4, 6-4, 6-1. Big surprise.

Kim Clijsters

Normally I root for the American in any match by default, but I switched sides in the Clijsters/Irvin match for two reasons. First, Clijsters looks excellent at this tournament and I think her time has really come. Second, Marissa Irvin is a neoconservative Bush fan, so I'd never root for anyone like that to beat Kim Clijsters. Ever. Irvin made it to Round Two of Wimbledon this year after failing to qualify six years in a row. That's a clue, Marissa. Give up tennis and stick to what you know. Clijsters creamed Irvin 6-1, 6-1.

"I bet Ann Coulter never has to put up with this!"

Sabine Klaschka v Elena Dementieva

"I'm using The Force to levitate this ball above my hand."

I have to say that this was one of the more thrilling first-week Wimbledon matches that I've seen in a while. The number 6 seed, Russian Elena Dementieva, was on the defensive for a good part of the match and only managed to best German Sabine Klaschka at the end of the third set. If the wind had been blowing in the other direction, we'd have seen Klaschka taking a major scalp. It was great.

Svetlana Kuznetsova v Sania Mirza

"Gee, I hope the ball doesn't hit me in the nose; could get ugly with my nose ring!"

An 18 year-old Indian qualifier, Sania Mirza, made the US Open champion Svetlana Kuznetsova really work for her Round Two victory. She broke Kuznetsova's serve mercilessly and dragged her into a third set by way of a second set tiebreak. This kid can really kick some ass. I hope to see lots more of her in the future.

Rusedski Out

2005-06-22T15:11:00.000-07:00

This comes as no surprise. Rusedski played a thrilling four-set match on Centre Court that was in serious danger of being postponed due to the awful light conditions on court; by the time the match was finally finished, it was past 9pm and the sun had set on SW19.

The British are taking this hard, but I think it's important to remember that Rusedski is not a seeded player at this year's Championships and he lost to the 11th seed, young Swede Joachim Johansson. Rusedski was simply outplayed by the Swede.

Day Two Roundup

2005-06-22T01:52:00.000-07:00

Justine Henin-Hardenne

Mmm, losing makes me thirsty.

Oh come on! I won the French Open! Can't I get a first round bye?

Meanwhile, Daniilidou's all "YES! Yay! I win a match! Your ass is GRASS, Justine!"

Oh no, I'm sweating! And lunging! My blood hurts!

Just kidding. The match was very tense...I mean very tense. On Daniilidou's first match point, a friend of mine knocked on the door and I was running around screaming KEYS! and waving him in making buzzing and hissing sounds because I did not want to miss one second. It didn't help that the Henin-Hardenne/Daniilidou matchup was on at the same time as Henman's match. Wow. What great tennis. Daniilidou beat her fair and square 7-6 (10-8), 2-6, 7-5.

Tim Henman

Oh shit, I'm losing. Perhaps if I show the crowd my man boobies, they'll love me again!

Those spaghetti arms and that serve-and-volley game aren't suited to Wimbledon's modern surface. Perhaps 20 years ago when people still used wooden racquets, Henman could have had a chance. Not now. The guy is 30 years; time is running out for him to win Wimbledon. We all know he'll never do it. He dropped two sets in his first round match against 23 year-old Finn Jarkko Nieminen. This is especially embarrassing for Henman because Nieminen hasn't played at Wimbledon since 2003 and is ranked 70th. Henman looked almost certain to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in the third set, but he somehow managed to go up a break and win three sets in a row, 3-6, 6-7 (5-7), 6-4, 7-5, 6-2. I think the UK will be left wanting for another year.

Andy Roddick

Aaaaaaaaaugh! Too sunny! Must shade eyes!

With Andy Roddick, I've always felt there was massive potential there but he hasn't lived up to expectations, mostly because he's in the long loooooong shadow of Roger Federer. He handily beat his first round opponent in straight sets on Day Two, though. Go Andy! The draw means that Federer and Roddick would only meet in the final, which is what I hope will happen. Roddick is in the same half of the draw as Henman. If both continue to win their matches, they'll meet in Round Four, where Roddick will kick Henman's ass.

Mary Pierce

She has that pinched Celine Dion-looking face. Maybe they're related.

Y'know, I've never liked Mary Pierce. She has an English name, was born in Canada, and lives in Florida...but plays for France. What's up with that? She handily beat the young Czech Lucie Safarova in straight sets, but I don't see Mary Pierce winning this tournament. It won't happen. Sure, she was runner-up at this year's French Open, but how often do you see the French Open champion or runner-up win Wimbledon the same year? Not very often. Phenomenal players can pull it off, but Mary Pierce isn't in that league. Never has been.

Serena Williams

Check out my outfit! I made it myself! I spent more time on it than I spend on my game!

Serena Williams was in serious danger of having her ass handed to her by 20 year-old Angela Haynes of the United States. This was the first time in a long time...maybe EVER...that I've seen two black women playing each other at Wimbledon and they weren't both named "Williams." Haynes played a fierce match but in the end Williams was just too powerful for her. The end result was 6-7 (12-14), 6-4, 6-2 but that doesn't really tell the whole story. Haynes was a formidable opponent. Look for her to do great things in the future.

Like my do rag?

Maria Sharapova

Breaking news: Maria Sharapova wipes herself with a towel!

Breaking news: Maria Sharapova sneezes, says "excuse me."

Breaking news: Maria Sharapova brushes hair out of eyes with index finger!

Breaking news: Maria Sharapova smiles, waves to crowd.

That's pretty much what the coverage here has been. All the attention is focused on Maria Sharapova and her gold shoes. (Seriously...her shoes have 18k gold trim.) She beat Nuria Llagostera Vives of Spain 6-2 6-2, but that wasn't a surprise.

Henin-Hardenne Exits

2005-06-22T01:48:00.000-07:00

Well, Justine Henin-Hardenne crashed out in Round One. Everyone's really surprised, but I'm not. Henin-Hardenne has been battling injury and illness and even though she won the French Open, Wimbledon comes only two weeks later and if you're already not 100%, it can really kick your ass. Daniilidou simply outplayed her. It happens. Anyone who has been watching this year knows that Daniilidou has some decent weapons; she's been having a not-too-shabby grass season and stole a set from Sharapova this year, so she was in a good position to kick Henin-Hardenne while she was down.

Day One Roundup

2005-06-21T13:59:00.000-07:00

Mostly I only care about women's tennis, since I'm a woman and I've thought for years that the men's game lacked depth and interest, but I'll talk a little about men's tennis.

Anastasia Myskina

Here's Russian Anastasia Myskina in her Round One match against qualifier Katerina Bohmova. Myskina won the match 5-7, 7-6 (7-4), 6-4 but she's still not on form. In 2004 she won the French Open; in 2005, she crashed out in the first round. Yikes. Plus, looking at Myskina I wonder what happened to the once-modest dress codes at Wimbledon. Hot pants and bare tummies don't really fit in at the A.E.L.T.C. in my opinion!

Kim Clijsters

Is it me, or does Kim Clijsters look like that chick "Chloe" from "24"? You decide:

They look a lot alike to me. Anyway, Kim Clijsters took the pathetic Englishwoman, Katie O'Brien, to school, wiping the court with her 6-2 6-3 in just 50 minutes. I almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

Elena Baltacha

Why does this poor woman come back every year? They call her a "British hope" but she's actually Ukrainian. She's ranked 126th in the world and her highest ranking to-date is 118. She has never made it past the third round in singles at Wimbledon and has only ever played in the first round in doubles at Wimbledon. Why does she bother? I think the UK is never going to see a female Wimbledon singles champion if this is the best they can do.

Lindsay Davenport

Lindsay's raising her hand because she's SURE! She humiliated Alina Jidkova of Russia on Centre Court 6-0 6-2 on Monday. Despite not having won a grand slam title in five years, Davenport is the world number one and she demonstrated why on Monday. I'm looking for her to make a serious run for the singles title this year. She won it in 1999 and it would be a great way to cap a terrific career.

Amelie Mauresmo

I don't know why Amelie Mauresmo hasn't won a grand slam title yet. She dispatched Melinda Czink 6-3 6-2 on Monday and is definitely one of the most powerful women on the tour. Her best grand slam performance to-date was runner-up at the 1999 Australian Open. She turns 26 shortly after Wimbledon is over and needs to really step up her game if she's going to win a grand slam before she retires.

Greg Rusedski

Rusedski dispatched Alberto Martin in the first round 6-3, 4-6, 6-2, 6-1. I don't know why he bothers, though. He'll never get back to his 1997 form, he'll never win a grand slam, and he'll always be second fiddle to Tim Henman, who has also never won a grand slam. How embarrassing must that be? Rusedski turns 32 this year and isn't getting any younger. If he was going to win a major, he would have done so by now. I think the man is doomed to mediocrity.

Roger Federer

The 2003 and 2004 men's singles champion needed less than two hours to finish off his hapless opponent, Paul-Henri Mathieu of France, 6-4, 6-2, 6-4. We all knew he'd win his first round match. The man seems virtually unstoppable here. He's an easy favorite to win the tournament. I don't think anyone can touch him here, but time will tell.

Welcome to Wimbledon 2005

2005-06-21T13:09:00.000-07:00

Here, I will be recording my thoughts on the 2005 Wimbledon tennis tournament.